It's Sunday and it's SUNNY you guys! This spring has sucked a big one in the weather department. And man can that affect your mood. I went for a massage last week, and as I sat in her little waiting area surrounded by oils, crystals, stones and affirmations, a little deck of cards caught my eye on the table beside me. I have never been one to really go for the whole "card reading" thing, but I won't deny that it sparks my interest sometimes when they seem to align in some crazy way with what is actually going on. These ones were called " Crazy Sexy Love Notes", that doesn't sound very witch crafty right? I won't pull one of these things and it freak me out with some "out there" prediction of my life... right?
The cute design and colors sucked me in (advertising 1, Kylie 0). I shuffled the cards, like 5 times, because if I'm going to pull one of these things then it better be in a completely random order. I shuffled and shuffled, then fanned them out in front of me. Either I suck at handling cards, or I was meant to pull the one I did, no one will ever know (I actually suck at handling cards, but I prefer the latter). I scanned through the cards based on the corner of each that I could see, but one caught my eye that was about a third uncovered. I could see the title and picture more so than any of the others. It said "You are Healing".
Okay deck o' cards, you got me on this one. If any of you read my last blog post you will know how much those 3 words on that card pertained to my life as it sits. Check the picture I shared above to read what the card had to say <3
What was interesting though, was as I pulled out the "You are Healing" card, another one fell from the deck and hit the floor. I picked it up and all it said was "Decide". I felt compelled to pick that one up and flip it over to see what it had to say as well. Obviously I was meant to read it, it literally threw itself from the deck when I chose a different one, LOL. What was I needing to decide on? I had a few things in my mind that I guessed I could make a decision on.. a few were in all honesty terrible decisions that I thought I needed to make a decision about. In all reality, I was just in a very negative state of mind and thought those were legit issues within my life, and NOT actual things I needed to change. Then as I sat there thinking about what I thought I needed help deciding on, I realized I was allowing my mind to sit in this terribly negative space, about all the things I wanted to change in my life. I started picking apart GOOD things to find the negatives, thinking maybe that is what I needed to make a change about.
Then it was like a light bulb went off. I need to decide on NOT ALLOWING MY MIND TO ENTER NEGATIVE SPACE.
To NOT search for the negatives in every situation I found myself in, to NOT let the negatives take over more space then the positives. This morning as I sat wanting to blog, I CURSED the sun shining through my windows for showing me how dirty my floors were (thanks to the litter of pups we have right now, there are little footy prints allll over the hardwood). Then I thought, what the hell is wrong with me? I LOVE the sun, we've been NEEDING the sun, it's like 10 degree's outside and it's not even noon yet, and here I am CURSING THE SUN because it's shining down through the window and hitting the floor at just the right angle. Those little prints are thanks to a healthy, stunning, beautiful litter of pups cruising around my house at our feet all day. They fill our life with love and excitement for the short time they are here then they get to go on and light up 6 other peoples lives for the rest of their days. What the hell was I to be upset about!?
I decided I needed to make a change in the space I allow my mind to operate in. This year so far has beat me up pretty badly, in more ways than I even talk about publicly, and I've been finding myself in a very, very negative space. I've been picking out all the flaws in every aspect of my life as of late, and it's been a TERRIBLE place to be in. If all you do is sit in a negative mind space, those negatives will end up coming to fruition. Call me crazy, and call me cliche, but I've never realized how true that statement was until recently. If you sit there and focus on all the bad, MORE bad is going to occur in your life as that is the type of energy you are attracting.
Instead of waking up this morning and thinking "ugh, I have so much to do today and it's my last day off before the work week", which was my initial thought, I decided to open the patio door in the bedroom and think "it's a BEAUTIFUL day outside today, the sun is shining, I can't wait to tidy up the house with the front door and windows open to let in all the warmth and fresh air". It is way easier to let negative things slip from your lips then positive, I know. About life, about other people, about your situation. I won't say I've been flawless in my decision to change so far, but every time I feel myself thinking negatively about something, ANYTHING, I immediately stop myself and look for the good. You will start to notice a shift in how you feel when you do this. Your heart will feel lighter, and your mind starts to clear. I promise you this. Instead of looking at your husband and picking out his flaws when he annoys you, look at him and think to yourself how lucky you are to have someone who supports you the way he does, and look at the life you've built together, and how GOOD things are right now. (I had to do this literally yesterday guys... MEN, lol!). They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. (I don't know who they are though). They don't often say how long it takes to destroy a bad habit, but I know it's going to take a little while for this to truly make a shift in my brain. I'm excited that I'm on the path to get there.
I will mention that the biggest difference I've noticed it in so far is with my horses. After losing the 3 I did this spring, all 3 tragically and out of anyones greater control, I was in a terrible place about what I wanted to do from here out. Instead of being upset, I decided to be THANKFUL. I decided to dedicate more of my time to my horses, because I'll admit I was slipping away from them a little bit this winter/spring. When I entered my first barrel race and my gelding put down a nice run for me to start the season, I was THANKFUL for him. I decided to share the video, and in my blurb thanked him for taking care of me, thanked him for knowing what I needed, and thanked him for putting a smile on my face. Obviously my horse isn't on Facebook and isn't going to read that, but it felt so good to write and send out into the univserse. We've raced a few times since, and each run has honestly been smooth and pretty, clocking well amongst some nice horses, and progressively getting better. And as I sit waiting for my turn, I think about how thankful I am to be left with the horses I have. How thankful I am for how fun my boy is making barrel racing for me right now. And after each run, even if I don't take home any money, I give my boy a big kiss on the forehead, a face hug (because he loves those) and thank him for doing a good job for me. He could care less about those 3 barrels or how fast he goes around them, he is doing this for me, because I am asking him to. Guys, I feel SO GOOD going into this season, probably the best I ever have, and all after losing 3...THREE!!!!!! of my babies within the last few months. I never guessed this is the way things would go. At first I was questioning how I was even going to get out this season, and almost bailed out more than once on my drive into town to head to that first jackpot! I've decided to ENJOY barrel racing again, to enjoy my horses, to not look at the frustrating aspects of what has happened and what can happen, to not get down when a run doens't go my way or I'm not where I think I need to be. To stop COMPARING. To stop being sad. It's made the world of a difference so far, although the season has just barely begun. I am excited about things again, and I think my boy feels the good vibes and love and it's been reflecting in our runs. For that, I am so thankful.
If we spend time in bad spaces, we automatically attract bad energies. Which in turn only brings more difficulties and obstacles in our lives, whether they be physical or mental, without us even realizing it. This needs to come into effect in every aspect of our lives for a change to be truly made. It couldn't be more suiting that the cards I pulled that day opened up a whole new way of thinking for me, who would have thought one simple word "Decide" could cause such a ripple effect for me. And how ironic is it that I sat in negative space after pulling that card thinking about the BAD in things so I could "decide" on a change, before realizing THAT was what I needed to decide on, the space I was allowing myself and my mind to sit in!
Hope this little sesh has helped bring some light to you and your day, and maybe put the bug in your ear that our minds are more powerful than we think! So make your thoughts powerful!
Needless to say, that deck of cards came home with me ;)
Hugs and love guys!