Gosh guys, it's been almost two months since my last blog post. A LOT has happened in these past two months. I had to take a step back from the world for a little while, and focus on me for once. In a nutshell, I've lost three horses in the past two months. Anyone who knows me knows that I live and breathe for my horses (and family, and dogs, and oils of course too!) but my horses are my pride and joy. I lost my stallion first, he wasn't just any ol' breeding stallion either. I know if your here you might not be wanting to listen to me talk about my horses but holy smokes I've been struggling. I had shipped him up from over 1600 miles away when he was just a yearling. He was this scrawny looking colt that my hubby found with bloodlines that were hard to find. CT was like a dog around here. We raised him to be kind, respectful and gentle. Our daughter could and would go out in his pen at any given time for pets, she would lead him around the yard, go up and kiss him on his cheek while he napped. He was a total sweetheart, so loving, just wanted to be with you, and was my heart horse. He gave us a beautiful filly in 2017, the start of my dreams of breeding, raising and training my own line of performance horses. Now if your still here reading, I applaud you, as if your not an animal person this probably got offly dry offly fast! We lost him after fighting a battle we couldn't win for 5 days. His last two days were spent down in a stall at the vets where we could keep him comfortable but eventually had to make the call. I cut off a chunk of his hair before he left me, and plan to have some pieces made in his memory. This took the winds out of my sails almost completely after he was gone. He had just recovered from an injury and I was planning on debuting him for his first year on the road traveling and competing. I had poured thousands into him raising him up, getting him broke and trained, and countless hours in the saddle since he was a colt to get him where he was at that point. All to lose him. I reached deep into my oils for support. That night I lost him I completely shut down. Came home, climbed in the bath, adding some Frankincense (it's a high vibration oil, helping a person get out of their own mind and move into a better space with their spirit or center of consciousness) as well as doTERRA's Balance blend (helps to promote tranquility while bringing harmony to the mind and body, and balance to the emotions) in some epsom salts and soaked for several hours in silence. For the next few days I diffused a similar combo, adding Arborvitae which promotes well being and gave the house a rich woody scent. I'm thankful for my hubby, he loved on me but gave me my space. Sometimes when your suffering others try to pour more emotion into you and smother in hopes to suppress the negative feelings, when in all reality we need to be able to release those and not bury them inside somewhere.
Fast forward a month and a bit down the road. I had a beautiful mare I had purchased the year before that I had bred to CT for one sweet cross, and was looking forward to the arrival of that foal since I had just lost it's sire. I really liked this mare, she was sweet and kind like CT was and I had high hopes for the baby she was making for me. She started showing signs that things were progressing and it was going to be any day at that point. I moved her inside so she was out of the elements (our spring has been TERRIBLE in Prince George, we still have several feet of snow and freezing temps overnight and it's past Easter!) so she could foal out comfortably. After a few days of no changes, I called the vet out to do an exam and see how far away baby was. To make this already long story a little shorter, upon examination the baby had been lost. When Jody went in she could feel it was stuck, very stuck, and she couldn't get it to budge in any other direction. It was coming out all 4 feet first, so was completely misaligned, and had gotten itself wedged before even entering the birth canal. She guessed the foal had been dead for at least a week based on what she could feel. It was decided to remove it, and try to save the mare before any more damage was done. Unfortunately, he was a sweet little bay colt, with a big white star, that looked JUST like his late sire. That broke my heart all over again, it was like having a baby CT at my fingertips but never having the chance to meet him. After further investigation, we found a lot of internal damage to poor Holly. The colt had punctured her uterus and caused a lot of havoc while stuck, injuries that only major surgery could possibly hope to fix. She would never be a mom again, and if she recovered would have serious organ issues for the rest of her life. We decided to put her out of her pain and suffering at that point as well.
So here I was, so anxiously awaiting this baby, hoping it could fill the hole in my heart that it's daddy had just left, and I didn't even get the chance to kiss it's sweet little nose when it took its first breathe. Then to lose that sweet Holly mare was the straw that broke the camels back. I went into a deep dark place mentally. It sure didn't look it on the outside, I got a lot of comments on "how well I was doing!" on a regular basis, but I was suffering, and still am. Cue more oils. I reached for my Peace blend, and carried that roller with me everywhere I went. On my wrists, on my chest, on my feet morning and night. I needed some help to bring peace back to my heart, as my hopes and dreams, two generations of it, had been torn from me. Vetiver was in my baths, and in my truck for the drive into work every morning. Vetiver is SO grounding, and when emotions are at an all time high, I find it helps me greatly bringing my mind back to where it needs to be.
It's incredible what these little bottles of plant magic can do for our emotional health. It is so easy to use them for physical ailments and forget about the powers they possess to help us in times of need. A few of my favorite resources for emotions and oils is the "Emotions and Essential Oils" book you can get from My Essential Business. Another one I've been snooping around is the "Releasing Emotional Patterns with Essential Oils" that you can find on Amazon. I hope that this post wasn't dry and boring, I'm sure it was for some, but I had to put it down in font for some reason, so here we are a few weeks after the loss of Holly and her colt, getting better by the day and loving on everything these oils can do.
Hugs and love friends!